Being poorly has lost its glamour. All it used to mean was lying on the sofa with a duvet, being brought flat lemonade with a straw and watching Ice Age 2. Now we have to call in sick at work, move the car so you don’t get a ticket (thank you Tom) and feel guilty about doing nothing. I’m not very good at doing nothing. Don’t misunderstand me, I am not known as a productive person and I am Queen Procrastinator but when you’re poorly there is nothing to procrastinate to or from. Swiping on your phone becomes boring after three minutes and flicking through YouTube videos happens so quickly it makes your nausea worse. I recently learned this as last week I was ill, taking three whole days off work. I was too headachey to read and felt too rough to sleep. I needed to be entertained just the right amount: not so much that I had to move or turn my head or focus my eyes, but not so little that I had to focus on just how rubbish I felt.
Reader, on day two, the internet cut out.
Half way through watching Bridget Jones’s Baby (shout out to my coz Adam who plays the photographer) it just stopped. It was 11am. I had six hours before Tom came home to distract me from my grottiness.
Because of this 21st century evil, I have compiled a list of What To Do When You’re Poorly – see it in its full pictorial form above. Only one of these suggestions requires wifi. I highly suspect that you will not in fact find it useful but please peruse at your leisure if you so wish.
I am happy to say that I am better and, more importantly, with full functioning wifi.